Welcomes and Regrets
by Ninja0Squirl
Summary: Time passes. Haruhi writes a letter to the Host club several years later, expressing her regret, and Tamaki tells her story, along with the Host Club's. Really, really sad. You should listen to "when she loved me" while reading it.


Welcomes and Regrets

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Again, I am repeating myself/

And I know it is gone for you/

To sit and pretend.

Damn regret, I'll try to forget/

Don't worry about me cause I'm real fine/

Cast my line to see what's behind/

Do you think, you persuaded me to let you go?

I'm wishing you were here/

My weakness is my fear/

Alone I am myself/

No reason, life for me to care.

You're the only one I turn to/

When I feel like no ones there/

And when I'm lonely in my darkest hour/

You give me the power to sit and pretend.

Did you think I forgot? Did you think I surrender myself/

To persuade you to let me go?

-Damn Regret, Red Suit apparatus

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Dear Host Club,

I am sorry that this is the first time in a long time that I have written to you. I suppose I have been occupied for such a long time that I had forgotten for awhile. I was reminded, just yesterday in fact, when I came upon that old yearbook, the one Tamaki insisted he buy me. It brings back so many good memories to remember those times, when we were young. It's so difficult to remember how long it's been, what, thirty, forty years? To long.

I'm not sure why I'm writing, or if this will ever reach any of you, but I thought it would be a good idea, to comfort a elderly mind I suppose. I remember once, Kyouya allowed Tamaki to take his the beach, and you all ended up trying to discover what my greatest fear, it makes me smile that you all cared so much you wanted to know everything about me. As I grew older, I missed that, once the host club ended, I never found another soul as kind as any of you.

Ah, the host club's end... it is a memory that is bittersweet to me. Once Huni and Mori left, it seemed that the music room was far to big for any of us. Then, once my debt was paid off, I started to spend more time working to become a lawyer then having fun, and I suppose that is the guilt in my heart. Then, Tamaki was dragged off by his father to be taught and had barely enough time to do schoolwork, much less come in to the host club, even if we all knew he wanted to from his long whine-filled phone calls. Then, Kyouya and Tamaki graduated.

It was inevitable I suppose, it wasn't possible for Kaoru, Hikaru, and I to keep the club running without our king and goblin, it was impossible. The days before it disbanded were some of the happiest for me though, because even if Huni, Mori, Kyouya, and Tamaki were all gone, I still had the last of my friends. That ended soon, we weren't in the same class graduation year, drifting away from each other was as inevitable as the Host club's end.

I can still remember, clearly so, the first time I wore that girl's uniform to school instead the boy's uniform, many of the girls refused to believe me, even after I photocopied my birth certificate with gender circled and posted it along the school halls (Kaoru and Hikaru's idea of course, though I believe it was Kaoru who though it up).

Graduation was my final good bye to the host club, once and for all, I told myself there was no going back and that I mustn't cry. But I did anyway, later, when I was at home and my father was at work. It hurt more than I could say then, I had grown so close to all of you, to finally have to let go of all of you, it was as if I was breaking my own heart multiple times.

Now, it is not so much a pain as an ache. I am over the pain it caused to say good bye, and I can still think happily over those memories you all gave me.

But, there are still regrets I have.

I regret that I never once told any of you this.

I regret that I never complied with any of the adventures you offered me (such glorious memories they would have been!)

I regret that I never once told any of you that I loved you.

But most of all, I regret that I regret.

Welcome to the Host Club,

Fujioka Haruhi

Suoh Tamaki walk along the old halls of the school, such an old established school it was. He smiled lightly, pushing open the abandoned third music room. Looking about mournfully at the newly established host club, they were fine looking boys, every type covered. They all stopped spotting him, obviously having been unprepared for such a visit -he'd always rather enjoyed showing up while they were preparing then when they were ready-, and stared at him.

"Chairman Suoh, what can we do for you today?" questioned the new "king" of the Host club. Tamaki smiled, and held up the small white envelope.

"I have a letter, I'm afraid that it's addressed to the Host club, and that would be you, wouldn't it?" he raised a brow and passed it to him. The boy quickly opened it and scanned it over, unsure and only able to recognise some of the names it, he truly didn't understand.

"Chairman, I think it's addressed to the wrong Host club." he responded hesitantly. Smiling cheerfully, he nodded.

"I'm aware." he answered.

"Chairman, was there a Host Club before us?" questioned the current Loli type.

"Yes, I was the old king you see, and that is a letter from a type of person you meet very rarely these days, the 'natural' type." they stared at him.

"Chairman, according to this later, it was a girl."

"I'm aware." he said again, smiling happily.

"Perhaps, you can tell us a bit about this, Fujioka Haruhi?" asked the financial manager of the group, looking over the "king"'s shoulder with ease.

"Hm... perhaps I shall." with that, he settled into a comfortable chair, his old thrown, "You see, it all began with Haruhi's mother, she died you see. So Haruhi became a very independent person..." he continued to recall the tale. And, as his words flowed, a story began, one that many are familiar with, even today.

In a cemetery, there are usually tombs reserved for the ashes of families, so that may be together. Tamaki, in a darker mood, had gotten one for the host club, and only after he'd gotten everybody to agree. To be fair, it was only 1/4 of the ashes placed in the tomb. Three jars rested peacefully there while their stories were told.

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Fujioka Haruhi

Ootori Kyouya

Morinozuka "Mori" Takashi

Side by side the sat, waiting for their comrades to join them. But, they were patient, for they were still alive, in the new memories people were forming from these tales.

So for a moment, behind the old chairman, three ghosts appeared, only for a moment, hard to glimpse. Tamaki didn't see, he didn't need to, he was already _there _with them, in the etchings of Haruhi's past.

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"Chairman, were you in love with Haruhi?" asked a girl who had walked in as the story started in hope of meeting early with the Host Club, her name was Bisco Hatori, and she wanted to be a manga-ka. The elderly chairman smiled at her charmingly, and for a moment, it was not the old man who was in the past, but the young man in the future.

"Naturally." he answered.

AN: OMG! I'm really going to cry over this! I just... it was just supposed to be like a letter Haruhi writes that sets of a reunion, but I kind of like this way better, and OMG I killed off Mori and Kyouya and Haruhi and now I'm going to be sad and cry and I still have to edit this and OMG!

Anyway, I had to write a Host club story, I try to write at least one fanfiction for my favorite fandoms, but I don't always post them, but this... is definitely on the post list.

And writing Haruhi say "welcome to the Host Club" in a nostalgic way makes me feel all toasty inside, before it burns when I remember I killed her off (really feel guilty about that)

Oh, and yay, I feel special in all ways about adding the Bisco Hatori bit, it was just, kind of a baaaw moment.

oh, and cookies with any type of pie to the first person to get why Tamaki saying "naturally" was a pun!


End file.
